Runs in the family
by aisobel
Summary: Sesshoumaru's weakness runs in the family.


Once she asked him how many humans he had killed. She knew he had killed many, especially in the past, not so much now. Some had been with good reason, some without, but she was curious if he could remember them all.

It was the kind of curiosity he'd never had to worry about when Rin was younger and all she did was follow him around and stare at him in awe and gratitude. The gratitude was still there, as strong as ever. That he could see, but the awe... The awe seemed to be a byproduct of innocence and naivety, and these seemed to be dimming fast. The whole situation made him uneasy, and he wanted to answer her question with a dismissive 'Many'. He found himself asking something else instead.

"Does it matter?"

It didn't. She knew in her heart that it didn't. Sesshoumaru probably killed fathers, sons, bringing grief and pain to their families. Grief and pain much like Rin herself experienced, before Sesshoumaru saved her from it all. No matter what his intentions were at the time, he saved her from more than just death and offered her a life that was in many ways better than she could have ever had in that village. Gratitude left her with no other option, no other wish, but to forgive him, shared pain and sympathy for his victims aside. Sesshoumaru could hate humans, but Rin was happy enough that he wouldn't hate her.

She lowered her head and sighed, trying to find words that would work for him without making her sound stupid. "I just wanted to know. I'm sorry." In a moment of impulsiveness she felt like adding 'I love you', but he was already several steps away.

When she killed a youkai without his or Jaken's help, it was a surprise, even if he couldn't tell if it was a pleasant one.

He and Jaken were on a errand when Sesshoumaru felt the smell of fresh blood in the air. He rushed in its direction, trying to track it, and left Jaken completely behind. He knew the blood wasn't Rin's, he was familiar with the scent of her blood, but she could still be in danger. Being a mere human, he thought, meant always being in danger.

He tried to will the drumming in his veins to a halt, as it would no doubt announce his arrival to the enemy, ruining the surprise effect. But there was no enemy, at least not a living one. There was just a big, beast-like youkai's body, and Rin kneeling beside it. She seemed petrified, fist still fiercely holding a sword dirty with coagulated blood. Despite the mess and the distinct smell of fear and death all around, when Sesshoumaru looked at her he could see some of the same things he saw in InuYasha's human girl and in the undead miko. She looked more brave and worthy than he'd ever thought possible for someone of her kind. He should be proud, but in his mind this just seemed to complicate things even more.

"Rin."

His voice took her out of her apparent state of shock, making her acknowledge his presence for the first time since his arrival. She looked up at him with blank eyes for a moment, then stood up, dropping the sword to the ground, and ran in his direction, stopping just two or three steps before him; suddenly she seemed self-conscious. She looked at her hands and the blood stains covering them, then back at him. Sesshoumaru's expression was as impassive as ever, but for a moment she thought she saw a flicker of something warm in those eyes, and even though she couldn't be sure it was really there she crossed the distance between them, hugging him and burying her face in his chest. He didn't protest.

"Never hesitate in calling for help, you're weak."

The truth was that when that youkai found her in the cave they all thought was safe, she'd screamed Sesshoumaru's name until her lungs grew sore, but he and Jaken were too far to hear. Sesshoumaru knew that, he just wanted to ensure that she'd continue calling for him when in need for as long as necessary.He had accustomed himself to think that would be forever.

"The sword. Where did you get it?"

There was no answer, nor tears nor sobs coming from her, just soft breaths and small fists clinging to his clothes. After a while he half-closed his eyes and put his arm around her, reprimanding himself silently for letting the same weakness that struck his father fall upon him.

Later that night, after a bath and new clothes, Rin grew quiet. Whatever it was she was thinking, made her completely tune out, and she ended up stepping on Jaken's foot, which made him yell and curse at her. She apologized promptly and then hurried to Sesshoumaru's side, Jaken still yelling behind them.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, that youkai... do you think he had family?"

It was one of the most foolish and vaguely disconcerting questions he'd ever heard. Why did she ask such things? It doesn't matter, when someone or something stands in the way, someone or something is bound to die. Compassion and forgiveness make you weak before your enemies. He wanted to tell her that, but knew she'd never understand, she'd always be just a human.

Still without turning his head to face her, he answered her question dispassionately.

"They all have. Everybody has. It's irrelevant."

She stopped in her tracks and just stared at him as he continued on his way, without giving any sign that he'd wait for her.

Now they were resting by a lake and Rin was doing something she hadn't done in a while: making a flower crown, more out of boredom than real desire. From time to time she'd stop and take a peek at Sesshoumaru sitting near her, eyes closed, his back to a trunk of tree. She wanted to ask him another one of her questions, but thought better of it. She was under the impression Sesshoumaru wasn't very fond of them.

She tried to bond the two ends of the crown together, but the knot wasn't strong enough so the ends kept sliding apart. She took out the small lace she used to keep her hair from falling into her eyes, and tied the flowers with it, finishing the crown. After taking a good look at it she settled it down on the grass.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Rin."

"I-", she paused, fiddling with her clothes a little. "You saved me and I could never return the favor could I? I owe you my life, it belongs to you."

This caught his attention and he opened his eyes, not knowing what to make of it.

"I don't want your life." There was no rudeness, just his normal impassiveness that Rin had already gotten used to.

"But it's still yours, at least until I can return the favor. I'm still yours." She gave him the brightest of smiles, stood up and ran to where Jaken was, deciding to join him in his search for mushrooms.

Rin had walked several meters away from him when he noticed the crown. He reached for it and took the lace off with ease. He thought of returning it to her later, but something inside of him made him think that he wouldn't, he'd keep it. Sighing softly in what could be resignation, he closed his eyes again and wondered if this weakness was in his blood.

Once she asked him if he'd remember her after she died. He considered telling her now, but she apparently already knew the answer.


End file.
